Pranks and Constellations
by pikaree1
Summary: Hiroto is denying his feelings. Being the good friend he is, Midorikawa helps Kariya give him a little push.
**Petal: I wrote a HiroRei oneshot!**

 **Kariya: Okay.**

 **Petal: It's a birthday fic for Chris, who uses the account Hofund! Get well soon, Chris!**

 **Kariya: She doesn't own Inazuma Eleven. She doesn't even entirely own the story. The idea and plot direction came from Chris.**

 **Petal: Please read and review!**

"Okay, I'm leaving," Hitomiko sighed, prying the children's hands off of her. She glanced up at her brother and his friends. "Take care of them, got that? As if they were your own children." Her words were accompanied by a fierce Mama Bear glare.

Hiroto sweatdropped. "I got it, I got it," he said with a nervous chuckle, hands up in surrender or perhaps self-defense. His sister could be quite scary when she wanted to be. "I'll protect them with my life."

Hitomiko nodded, satisfied. "Good."

"But I don't think it'll come to that,"Midorikawa muttered, lightly elbowing Hiroto. "You aren't escaping your paperwork that easily." Hiroto elbowed him back. Thus began an elbow war until Yagami poked them both in the smalls of their backs and hissed for them to stop.

"Well... Goodbye. I'll be back in a week." Hitomiko hugged the younger children, glanced at the other three adults present, picked up her bags, and left.

"Why do I get the feeling she doesn't trust us to get these kids through the week unharmed?" Midorikawa asked in a low voice.

Hiroto maintained the cheerful smile plastered on his face. "Maybe because she doesn't trust us to get _ourselves_ through a week unharmed. Heck, she's only leaving us because Yagami-san already works here full-time. We're just her helpers who hopefully won't end up bringing the place to ruins."

"...Good point."

While Hiroto and Midorikawa debated Hitomiko's trust in them, Yagami took charge.

"All right!" she called, clapping her hands. "Who wants curry for dinner?!" Her inquiry was met with enthusiastic cheers and hollers of "me!"

"Ah-! Yagami-san, we'll help!" Hiroto called, hurrying after her into the kitchen. Midorikawa moved to follow, but he was stopped by a hand grasping his shirt. Turning back to look, he saw it was Kariya.

"Come with me for a minute," the boy whispered, his gaze filled with mischief. Midorikawa frowned. This couldn't be good. "It's for the good Hiroto-san and Yagami-san." What? "As a pair."

"Of course," Midorikawa said promptly, straightening up. The two went to a different room.

"So, I was thinking about how you said that one time that Hiroto-san and Yagami-san look cute together," Kariya started. Midorikawa nodded. It was true. He had made that comment on sever occasions, though he had only been half-serious. He mainly did it to bother his friend.

"And, well, I was thinking they actually _do_ look cute together, even though Hiroto-san is always protesting that they're more like siblings. I never hear Yagami-san denying it like that."

"But how do you know that it really isn't the case?" Midorikawa asked. As much as he loved the idea of his friends getting together, he had to be the rational adult.

Kariya shrugged. "They don't really act like siblings. When they bump into each other weirdly, they blush a little, and it's not from embarrassment."

* * *

Downstairs, Hiroto and Reina bumped into each other. "Sorry," they said in unison, cheeks tinted pink.

* * *

"How do you know that?" Midorikawa challenged.

Kariya grinned. "Prankster's intuition. I've planted enough whoopee cushions, drawn on enough people's faces, and set up enough tripwires to know when someone's embarrassed."

Midorikawa doubted prankster's intuition was actually a thing, but he chose to believe the kid. He nodded for him to continue.

"Anyway, they're familiar with each other. Why would they be embarrassed? So I'm sticking to my theory that they're in love with each other. That's why the two of us are going to pull the best prank ever!"

Midorikawa raised an eyebrow. "And that is...?"

"We're going to get them together!"

Silence reigned for a minute.

"Kariya," Midorikawa sighed, "it's all well and good to make jokes like I've been doing, but that's what they should stay-jokes. You shouldn't mes with people's love lives."

Kariya snorted. "Hiroto-san's been denying his feelings, and Yagami-san's being passive because she's scared to ruin their stable friendship," he deadpanned. "It's like something out of a shoujo manga. Anyway, that's my take on it. So are you in or out?"

"...I'd love to say in," Midorikawa admitted. "I'm Hiroto's best friend. I want him to find happiness. But it depends on the plan..."

Kariya smirked. That was the answer he was going for. "Well," he began, "Nagumo-san told me that when the original residents of Sun Garden lived here, you all called the man who ran the place 'father.' And since Htiomiko-san always insists that the most we can call her is 'auntie'... doesn't that kind of make Hiroto-san 'dad'? And Yagami-san's the one who deals with the younger kids the most, you know. She's the most nurturing. Some of them even like to call her 'mom'. That's what we're gonna work to our advantage. We're gonna place them in situations, like a closet, and on my birthday at the end of the week... I'm gonna thank 'Mom' and 'Dad'."

Midorikawa's eyes widened. "But Kariya... That's..."

Kariya knew what he was getting at and smiled bitterly. "It's not like my chances of actually being adopted are actually that high. I'm not stupid. I know people tend to look for younger kids. I'm too old." His tone was matter-of-fact. Midorikawa cringed. "...But... Well, having people who are _like_ parents isn't too bad." Kariya's mischievous smirk (Midorikawa was suddenly reminded of Kogure) found its way back onto his face. "Let's do it!"

* * *

Kariya and Midorikawa had disquieting looks on their faces all through dinner. It was quite worrying.

* * *

 **PLOT #1: VOICE SYNTHESIZING**

Midorikawa sat across from Hiroto, a voice recorder gripped tightly in one hand. Hiroto looked bewildered.

"Um... Midorikawa?" he asked confusedly.

"What do you think of soccer?" Midorikawa asked, keeping his tone calm and neutral.

Hiroto's confusion tripled. "Soccer? You know I love it! What's this all about?"

"Yagami," the other man responded honestly.

"What does Yagami have to do with anything?"

Fortunately, Kariya appeared right on time to rescue his accomplice. "Midorikawa-san, can you help me train?" he asked, eyes widening innocently.

Hiroto stared blankly as the two of them raced out of the room. "What in the world...?"

* * *

"Isn't this plan kind of risky?" Midorikawa whispered.

"Midorikawa-san, you played in the FFI, and you're the secretary of a business CEO. You should be used to risks," Kariya whispered back. "Besides, Yagami-san is just going to think that the younger kids are fooling around.

"If you say so..."

Indeed, Kariya had enlisted the help of the toddlers and elementary-schoolers among the orphans-candy bribery is believed to be involved. The children were currently playing a game of 'Simon Says' with Yagami.

"Simon says spin in a circle three times," announced Mayu, the current Simon. Everyone spun in a circle. "Simon says say 'I love Hiroto!' "

Midorikawa grimaced as he recorded the chorus of voices. This plan was so transparent...

* * *

After Kariya finished editing the recordings, he went to a pay phone and called Hiroto and Yagami with the supposed declarations of love. Midorikawa covered him with an excuse that they were training. Unfortunately, Yagami figured it out.

"Kariya," she said with a sweet smile on her face, "have you done anything with your audio editing program lately?"

Two could play at that game. Kariya widened his eyes innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, of course. How could I _ever_ have suspected you?" Yagami asked sarcastically, holding up her phone. "You're the only one who knows who to use the software, Kariya. And the fact that it's edited is painfully obvious."

Kariya was not going down alone. "What about Midorikawa-san?! He gave me an alibi!"

The two of them were stuck with dish duty for the rest of the day.

* * *

 **PLOT #2: CLOSET**

"Kariya, they're on to us," Midorikawa hissed. "I know the saying goes 'strike while the iron is hot', but are you sure it's a good idea to strike so soon? There's another saying that goes 'think before you leap'! 'Haste makes waste'!"

Kariya smirked. "Of course. Don't be such a wimp, Midorikawa-san. We only have a week to finish executing this plan, after all. Besides, I've already done plenty of thinking. Yagami-san!" he called when the blue-haired woman passed by. Midorikawa quickly hid before she could see him. "I'm trying to get something from the closet, but it's too high for me to reach. Can you help me?"

Yagami was suspicious after the prank call incident, but she agreed nonetheless. Stepping into the closet, she reached up to the top shelf. "What are you trying to get, Kariya?" She was answered with two clicks-one was the door shutting behind her, the other was the sound of the lock. "..."

"KARIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Hiroto poked his head into the hallway. "What' s going on?"

Kariya put on his best innocent-and-near-tears expression. "Yagami-san was getting something from the closet for me, but the door jammed!" he wailed convincingly. "What should we do, Hiroto-san?!"

The redhead's first thought was to break it down, but he quickly realized that Yagami would be furious if he did so-and that wouldn't even compare to what his sister would do to him. No, better to leave it as a last resort. He inspected the door. "Maybe if we stick a card or a nail into the slot..."

Kariya unlocked the door while Hiroto was busy thinking. "Maybe we just weren't twisting the knob hard enough," he suggested. "You should try, Hiroto-san." The man obliged, and when the door opened, Yagami had a look on her face that was something between relief and rage. Her relief was short-lived. Midorikawa sprang from his hiding place and helped Kariya push Hiroto into the closet with her, and then the pair slammed the door shut again and locked it.

* * *

Hiroto and Yagami were rescued an hour later when Suzuno and his spare keys came to visit and got something from the closet for a group of kids. He raised an eyebrow at the position he found them in-Hiroto's hands were pressed against the wall above Yagami's shoulders, Yagami was leaning against the wall, and their faces were precariously close-but didn't otherwise comment. The children, on the other hand, chattered excitedly. It was worth noting that Hiroto and Yagami avoided each other's gazes and blushed whenever their eyes met for the rest of that day. Kariya and Midorikawa earned themselves dish duty for the rest of the week, leaving them with even less time to plan and execute their plots. They decided that the most they could do given their limitations was to continue to call them a couple and convince some of the children to call Hiroto and Yagami 'Dad' and 'Mom'.

Before they knew it, Kariya's birthday arrived. An older orphan who was participating in a foreign exchange student program who happened to share the same birthday was at the party via Skype. After everyone finished singing 'Happy Birthday', the birthday boys were asked to give brief speeches. The elder boy gave a short and sweet 'thanks' to everyone. Kariya seemed to take a cue from him. "I wanna thank Mom and Dad for all they've done," he announced. When everyone (except Midorikawa, of course) blinked confusedly, he pointed directly at Hiroto and Yagami.

Both blushed-from embarrassment, perhaps? Or something else...?-and Yagami shook her head. "Kariya... It isn't like tha-"

"...Yagami-san?"

Everyone immediately turned to look at Hiroto. His face had reddened even further and was now the color of a curious mix between his hair and Nagumo's.

"...Will you go out with me?"

Kariya and Midorikawa high-fived over the cake. The other kid could no longer be seen on the screen because he had fallen from his seat-from shock or laughter or perhaps a bit of both.

* * *

Hiroto raced around his apartment, tossing books everywhere until he finally found the 'Dating For Dummies' book Midorikawa had given him for his birthday. Frantically flipping through it, he berated himself for acting without thinking. He had no experience with dating! No, he had to calm down, calm, calm, ca-

"Hiroto! You ready or what?! I bet you aren't-which is why I, the greatest wingman ever, am going to help you!"

"You!" Hiroto shouted, whirling around to jab an accusing finger at his friend. "This is all your fault!"

"No, it's Kariya's," Midorikawa corrected him. "I just helped. And I brought more help." Nagumo and Suzuno popped up behind the secretary. Hiroto groaned and facepalmed.

"Take her to the movies," Nagumo suggested. "Something casual.

"Take her to a high-class restaurant," Suzuno said at the same time. "Impress her."

The two paused, glared at each other, and commenced arguing. Hiroto groaned and began banging his head against a convenient wall. Midorikawa attempted to help with an optimistic proverb, but Hiroto wasn't listening.

* * *

After a thoroughly useless debate, Hiroto forewent his friends' advice and decided to stay true to himself. He would take Yagami to a place he deemed special.

"HIROTO, STOP!"

Snapped out of his thoughts, Hiroto hit the brakes, causing the car to jerk violently.

"...If you do that on your date, I'm going to kill you if you aren't already dead from the accident," Midorikawa exhaled, gripping his seat tightly. He managed to pry his hands off of Hiroto's car and switch places with Yagami.

"I'll look after these kids with my life," he intoned before she could even open her mouth. "I so swear it on the wingman's code of honor."

And then they all waved goodbye, though Kariya couldn't resist coming downstairs and wolf-whistling as the tentative couple drove away.

"So where are we going?" Yagami asked curiously.

Hiroto grinned a bit. "It's a surprise."

The two chatted about mundane things-life, food, new hobbies-until they reached their destination. Yagami was startled when she saw that they were surrounded by nothing but the road they were on and a vast field of overgrown grass. "Do we have a flat?"

"Nope," Hiroto said with a grin. "We're stargazing."

Yagami stared at him. Then she giggled. Then she laughed. "That is so like you," she commented.

"But there is something romantic about sitting under the moon in an open field and staring at the stars," he returned.

She conceded that he had a point, and they left the car to lay on their backs in the grass, trying to spot constellations.

"Big Dipper!" she declared, pointing at a collection of stars.

"No, it's over there," Hiroto chuckled, gently steering her hand in the right direction. "Oh-so-close."

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "You _would_ know, space boy."

They continued to stare and guess at the stars, content to simply enjoy the familiarity of each other's company, but Yagami shattered the easy, comfortable atmosphere with one question. "Hiroto, why did you ask me out?"

The man determinedly focused a hawk-like gaze at the stars, refusing to look her in the eyes. The awkwardness level had launched off of zero. "...Um." He wracked his brain for an answer. "It was... an impulse..." Wait, no, that implied he would've asked out anyone if Kariya hadn't called her 'mom'!

"Oh..."

* * *

Back at Sun Garden, Midorikawa got the sudden urge to throttle his friend. Kariya frowned for no apparent reason.

* * *

"W-Wait, no!" Hiroto cried, sitting up and waving his arms frantically. He tried to dip into his inner reserves of calm, but they were strangely empty. "That's... not it, exactly. I guess I've... kinda been feeling like you were more than a friend, but I've been trying to write it off as a sibling-like feeling instead of a romantic interest. When Kariya called us 'mom and dad,' I couldn't help but imagine a future of the two of us starting a family, and... well... impulse." A pause. He noticed Yagami's hand hovering near him. "...Are you going to hit me?"

She laughed and placed her hand on his cheek. "No. You should've told me all this a lot earlier, silly. You've definitely been hanging around Endou too much, you dense, oblivious fool." Then she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him down for a kiss.

* * *

After that, time fairly flew by. Their first date came to an end, but then they went on a second, and a third, and a fourth. They became an official couple, much to Hitomiko's approval. A year later came the engagement, and then the wedding. They had their ups and downs as all couples do, usually stemming from Hiroto's frighteningly friendly personality and Yagami's-no, she was now _Reina_ to him-tendency to jump to conclusions, but they always made up eventually, though sometimes it took a worrying amount of time. Still, they were happy, and their happiness continued to grow.

* * *

"HUNTER'S NET!"

Kariya tsked. "So close, Hoshina-chan. So close."

The red-haired five-year-old in front of him pouted. "You've been saying that for the past month, but I still haven't gotten it!" she whined. He flicked her forehead.

"The Great Wall of China wasn't built in a day," he told her. "Nor a month."

"You sound like Midorikawa-jichan," she retaliated, her pout growing. Sharp blue eyes glared up at him.

"I don't get why you don't want to learn The Mist," Kirino cut in with a grumble. "Or La Flamme."

Hoshina stuck her nose up petulantly. "Because Masa-nii is cooler than Kirino-san!"

The pink-haired man turned to glare at Kariya. "What have you been filling this child's head with." Kariya just smirked and shrugged.

"Hey!" Hoshina said loudly, drawing their attention back to her. "What's the secret?! Tell me! Tell me!"

Having grown up around children of all ages, Kariya knew that his patience would not last if he argued with a little kid. They were by far the most stubborn and illogical creatures he had ever met. Instead, he used a tactic that has saved parents, older siblings, older cousins, babysitters, and teachers worldwide: distraction. "Why don't we do something fun?" he suggested.

Kirino's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Kariya..."

By contrast, Hoshina's eyes widened. "More fun than soccer?!"

"Maybe... Here's the plan..."

Kariya's whispers and Hoshina's exclamations of understanding and excitement were carried away by the wind.

* * *

Hiroto sighed and rubbed his neck where it met his shoulder, attempting to get rid of the crick that had developed from sitting with his head and shoulder sandwiching a phone between them while he did his paperwork. He made a mental note to have the thing fixed so that the speaker wouldn't sound so scratchy and hard to make out. At least another tiring day at the office had come to an end, and he could spend time with his family. His lovely wife and adorable daughter-

 _SPLASH_.

Hiroto stood stock still, his hand still holding the door open. Water dripped from his hair and face, and his suit was completely saturated. He could only think of one perpetrator.

"...Kariya-kun."

Hoshina scampered down the hall to meet him. "Welcome home, Papa!" she squealed, clinging to his legs. He patted her head.

"I'm home. Careful, Hoshina, I don't want to get you wet," he cautioned. He glanced up. A simple pully system of rope and a bucket swung above his head, the bucket dripping what little water it had left. Simplistic and obvious, but then, Kariya had never been known to show finesse with these kinds of pranks. Hiroto looked back down at his daughter. "I don't suppose Masa-nii came to visit today?"

Hoshina's eyes widened. "How did you know?!"

"Oh, I have no idea," Hiroto said, allowing the faintest trace of sarcasm to stain his tone. "Call it a hunch. Did he set up this bucket?"

Hoshina brought a finger to her chin, seemingly thinking hard. "Well," she said after a few minutes of showy thinking and humming, "probably."

Hiroto raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Did Masa-nii tell you not to tell Papa?"

Hoshina beamed at him. "Maybe."

"What's going on?" Reina asked, finally arriving from the kitchen. Hiroto pointed up, and Reina winced. "Come to think of it, Kariya _did_ come to visit today..."

"I knew it," Hiroto sighed, gently detaching his daughter and shepherding her to her mother. "I'm going to dry off and change. Hoshina, isn't it almost bedtime?"

She pouted. "But Papa!" she whined. "You just came home!"

He chuckled and ruffled her hair. "I'm going to be taking a vacation soon, so we can go somewhere as a family, okay? Now, off to bed."

"Okaaaaaaaay," she sighed, half-appeased, and went to her room with a noticeably less spring in her step.

After Hiroto changed into something more comfortable (and dry) and had his dinner, he called Kariya.

"I didn't set up the bucket trap!" the young man protested upon being faced with the accusation. "Just ask Kirino-san! I was with him the whole day doing defender training!"

Hiroto hung up and considered the statement for a moment. There was no way Kirino wouldn't rat out his mischievous junior, but it could still be a bluff. In the end, he called the pink-haired defender just to make sure.

"No, Kariya didn't do anything..." Kirino reported. Hiroto could tell there was a 'but' left unsaid, hesitant to make itself heard. He said it instead.

"But?" he prompted.

"But... well... he was telling Hoshina something I couldn't hear..."

"Thank you, Kirino-kun! Goodbye!" he said quickly, hanging up.

"So?" Reina asked, setting down her cup of tea. "What's the verdict?"

"It seems," Hiroto said in as dramatic a voice he could muster, "that Kariya-kun is not in fact the guilty party."

His wife quirked an eyebrow questioningly. "Oh?"

"Yes," he said, nodding. "It was someone else. And when I find that someone, I am going to bring the hammer of justice down on her with..." He paused for effect. "The tickle punishment!"

A small squeak was heard from the door connecting the dining room to the hall, and Hiroto sprang up and raced after the quickly retreating footsteps with speed built from years of soccer (though it was dulled by years of office work). He performed a sharp cut around the corner of a wall and sprang forward, catapulting himself off of his dominant foot.

"Gotcha!" he shouted, scooping up the little mischief maker and mercilessly tickling her sides. "Not only did you set a trap, but you are also awake past your bedtime?! Double offense!"

"Noooooooooooo!" she squealed, laughter bubbling out of her both voluntarily and involuntarily.

"This is what happens when troublemakers run rampant! A hero will rise! Valleys will shake! And rivers will run red with Kool-Aid!" he cried, carrying the still-laughing child back to her room. Reina followed, an amused look on her face.

"It's the troublemaker's bedtime now," she commented. "She won't be able to defeat the hero unless she grows up big and strong."

Hiroto plopped Hoshina down on her bed. "Hear that? You'll have to do better than that to beat me!"

"Fine," Hoshina sighed in as dramatic and defeated a way as she could. She put on a big show of yawning and rubbing her eyes before she burrowed under her covers. "G'night."

"Good night," Hiroto said, planting a kiss on her forehead. Reina did the same and pulled the blankets snugly around their daughter.

"I'm going to bed," Reina decided once they quietly shut the door to Hoshina's room.

"You do that," Hiroto agreed. "Otonashi-san wanted me to go over some footage Kidou-kun sent her, so no rest for the weary!"

"Hold it," Reina ordered, grabbing the back of his shirt as he tried to walk away. "You're coming, too. The hero needs his rest if he is going to do mighty tickle battle once more. That, and we have to get up early tomorrow. You _are_ Midorikawa's best man, after all."

"That was only once!" Hiroto protested, aware that she was referring to the time he fell asleep at Endou's wedding. Luckily, his fellow groomsmen woke him up with a sharp elbow from Kazemaru and a wolf whistle right in his ear courtesy of Fubuki when the newlyweds kissed.

Reina raised an eyebrow.

"...But it wouldn't hurt to be well-rested for tomorrow," he relented.

She gave a satisfied nod. "That's more like it."

And the two retreated into their bedroom, falling asleep in each other's embraces.

(Though Hoshina had left her room sometimes in the night and squeezed herself in between her parents.)

 **~END~**


End file.
